I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
