You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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