after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
