wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's blow job season.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
