just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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