I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
