You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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