how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
