quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
