Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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