I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
