I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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