Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
