so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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