you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
