your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
