What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize