Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
a search helicopter?!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
