It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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