K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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