is your mom at the bar?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize