My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
