you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Someone came in the potted fern
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize