am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
