two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
