Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
