she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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