she looked like the before picture.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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