Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
