1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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