Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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