U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wish I only lived at night.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I supernannyed him into submission
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
