The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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