i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
