so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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