Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
