Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
