Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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