Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
NoShamevember. You game?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize