Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my sisters under your porch take her home
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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