Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize