2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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