i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
