So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
