i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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