i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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