I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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