do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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