her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I need to align my fucking chakras
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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