physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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