FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Boobs are out for the taking
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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