I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
