I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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