it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
