while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
How's work?
Spinning.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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