The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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