I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
