after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
