I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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