that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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