my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
