Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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