im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
