Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize