goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
