On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
