i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Randomize
