that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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