More tranny stories later!
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
