i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
