So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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