If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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