are you still at the devil's house?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
