I look better un-naked...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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