you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
