Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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